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The Camels
The little camel asks his mother:
Mum why do we have these big humps?
Because in these hump there is some water and in the hot desert we can drink.
And mum. Why do we have this large fur?
Because the dessert at night is so cold and then we don't feel cold.
And mum. Why do we got these big hoofs.
Because the desert the sand is hot and the hoofs save us from the hot
sand.
But mum. What the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?
Door To Door
Two church members were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a
woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms
that she did not want to hear their message, and slammed the door in
their faces.
To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced
back open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the
door again with the same result -- the door bounced back open.
Convinced these rude young people were sticking their foot in the door,
she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when
one of them said,
"Ma'am, before you do that again you need to move your cat."
Speed Trap
A police officer pulled a guy over for speeding and had the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: This car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes, sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain.
The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to
handle the tense situation.
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
The driver's license was valid.
Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card. The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, and I'll bet the lying S.O.B. told you I was speeding, too!
Gepostet am 20.10.2014 um 20:27 von:
Benutzer: Tappi
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